Hi I'm Mike and let me tell ya something

Whatever happened to Oprah? Is she still doing Oprah?

Felt cute. Bought a pineapple

When the people are gone and the sun has consumed our bodies and we are finally reincorporated back into the wider tapestry of time and space, there will still be like 30 or 40 vampires floating in space and like maybe they will form some kind of little community

Hey Mike, just a heads up the "daves" are at it again with their bullspit nonsense. Look out for heinous dave characters with foul mouthes! They are so mean!

FYI The word praise is actually a shorthand for "pay raise" which Jesus was super into

What kind of pipsqueak sees an actual butterfly in the sky and has the audacity to say "I can go twice as high"